I am glad it is me…
I have to say, I am thankful that it is me going through this. I would not want ANYONE else in my family to have to deal with something like this. I know I have the inner strength to deal with this while still keeping a semblance of normalcy with the kids. Its this kids I worry about. How their life is going to change whatever the results of the biopsy. If I have cancer that’s a long fight. At the minimum there is surgery to be done. My kids depend on me for a lot of things. Both still like to snuggle with me on weekends. Both still like to sit outside my bathroom when I try to pee in peace. Both still need me to referee their umpteen tiffs. Both still need me to reassure them that they are still my favorites and that I will swoop in an correct anything that is wrong in their worlds.
The thought of them losing this makes me shudder. The thought of me losing that coveted supermom place makes me panic. Of all the thoughts that torment me about my current predicament the thought of not seeing them grow up is the foremost. Granted I do not have a diagnosis and maybe it may turn out to be nothing. Granted that even if turns out to be something medicine has come a long way in treatment of Breast Cancer. But now this minute that factoid does not bring me any relief.
Cancer or not one thing I know for sure, for the whole process here on keeping the kids life as normal as I can will be my foremost concern.
